Mistress K

Post #7: Q: Hi. My husband and I are exploring the femdom lifestyle. We are both loving it, but there are a few challenges. Could I humbly please ask you for some suggestions and tips? For example, my husband sometimes feels there is too little domination and that I am not dominant enough. And sometimes I am even too dominant. It is difficult to find the middle way .
 
First of all, you do not need to humbly ask me anything. You can ask me anything, anytime, without being humble. Your hubby needs to ask humbly, though. Secondly, if there is an FLR we are talking about here, your husband is in no position to have any opinion of how dominant you should be or not.
 
As I have said before, I am not an expert, but can only share my own experiences. So all I can talk about is my own experiences with hubby. If you want expert advice, ask someone who claims to be an expert (doesn't exist). I can say that I and hubby have experimented for years to make this work. It is like any other relationship. We are all experimenting, vanilla or not.
 
But I do have an idea of what you are talking about. We have a case of topping from bottom here, sister. He should have no saying of how much you dominate him or not. If he shows any opinion of that, just stop your Mistress role and go back to vanilla. I am not saying this is a right way to do it, I only say that worked for us (it will work, trust me 😉 ). If there is a middle way, that is solely up to you. 
 
He should have no saying what is enough or not enough domination. You decide that. Just stop. Lock him in his cage, if he has one, and monitor what he does. Just release him if he continues his bad behaviour, and tell him it is not acceptable. Then just quit domination and ask what he wants. Just don't be a Mistress who is being dominated. Why not just then stop and live vanilla? That is fine too. 🙂
 
I think I will divide this into three categories:
 
1) We are playing bdsm and having fun, but of course it does not go outside the bedroom . How nice. 🙂 Enjoy!
2) We are playing femdom and having fun inside the bedroom and a little outside the bedroom. But outside there are some differences. That is fine. Just agree and not top from bottom.
3) We are not playing femdom, we are living it, consensual from both parts. There is no topping from bottom, because that will backfire.
 
Most people probably do 1) or 2). That is great. Enjoy folks. 🙂
  
A few does 3).
 
 I am!

Post #6: Q1: How do you get cocks and get fucked in your ass and pussy when your hubby is like this? Do you get fucked? Q2: I am curious, are you yourself sexually satisfied? 
 
To Q1: No, his pee-pee is a control stick, and I am not interested in any other sticks. But, do not ask me that question ever again. None of your business.
 
To Q2: Very much so. 🙂 Penetration is not the most important part of sex for all women. I actually get more than him. There are other ways than pee-pee's. Better ways, in fact. We do have great sex and we do make love, actually.  ❤️ It does not necessarily involve penetration (that doesn't work anymore, anyway), and certainly not orgasms for him (obviously). He is not in the position to be satisfied.
 
I am!
 
And yes, I am sexually satisfied. Even more now than before, actually. It is of course very sad for hubby that he is not sexually satisfied, but that is of course the point ... but who cares? Keep the fucker horny, is all I'm saying. 

Post #5: Q:  I do not understand the thing about this. Why do you deny your husbands orgasms? I really do not get it. But thanks for your videos.
  
Because he is not the woman in this relationship. 
 
I am! 
 
And I say he cannot cum. 
 
Anything else?

Post #4 - Q:  You are disgusting! Do you really hate men that much? Why do you hate your husband so much, that you do not allow him to cum? F*ur years? He will leave you and you are going to be alone soon. He will leave you and find a better woman. He can kick your ass anytime, and he is much stronger than you! You fucking bitch!
 
Although I think the question is badly formulated (I even corrected the mispellings here, for your convenience, and there were lots of them), I think the essence of the question is worth answering. I actually managed to decode the misspelled sentences. Kudos! Wasn't easy.  Correcting the errors didn't take me too much time - probably less time that it took for him to write this. What an effort! I would love to know his penis size. 😉  No, I am just kidding, I am not going to sink to that level. Though, I think I just did. 😜 Can you post the size here please?. Or is it the biceps you want to measure? I couldn't care a fuck. 
 
But no, I do not hate men. And most importantly, I love my husband. You are free to ask him about his situation. Contact HersBoiToy if you want to ask him direclty.
  
A femdom marriange is not about doing something that the other part does not want. I know that my hubby is a strong person at his job. I am impressed at what he does. Actually, in some areas I can understand that he is superior to me. I am constantly amazed at of how brillant he can be. I love him. However, we decided TOGETHER that i am the boss. He submits because he wants to. I do not hate men and at least not him. I love him. But as we have decided, he is now mine and he wants this. I took away his orgasms. I might be a bitch, but that is the way it is. But we are adults and have agreed together on a solution and a setting that works perfectly. It is that simple.   
  
In the question I answer to, it is said that hubby can kick my ass anytime. But I can tell you that he can not. He is not able to kick my ass, let alone any woman or touch a woman in any way. It will never happen. He could be the boss, but he is not. He could physically, but not mentally. Because he is a man. You are not. He is a little sissy, though. He is that, I grant you that. But he will not touch any woman in any bad way. I do touch him in a bad way, though. 😉 Because we have agreed that he is not the boss in this relationship.
 
I am!
 
And he wants that. This might be one of the most serious posts until now, but the whole point is: It is completely consensual. Isn't it, hubby? 

(Answer to comments on my last post, see Post #3, because in the comments section there was not enough room to respond.)
 
Post #3.1 Follow-up
 
I never said that him touching his hard pee-pee warranted a reward. As you maybe  have seen from my last videos, the consequence was a postponed release,  and I can guarantee you that it was not a reward for him. However, I see no reason  to withdraw domination for that mistake. It is not like that I have a list of p*nishments   for each mistake, ranked in one way or another. It all depends on the  situation, the context and my mood. If hubby wets his sheet, cums too soon  or does not fill his cage, those are of course accident and might cause some spanking.  When I say it is a reward, I do not necessarily mean that he is actually rewarded. Of course  that is humiliating in the moment and actually hurt a bit - but he gets what he craves,  namely domination and his Mistress. When he touches his pathetic and hard pee-pee, which is forbidden,  I will continue the domination,  but maybe prolonge his frustration. 
 
However, lets say he comes home from work and had a  bad day, and he pours all his frustration towards me, he is directly rude to me, tries to  pick a fight, or tries to top from bottom (I mean for real), then there is P*unishment  with capital P. I simply  say: OK, you do not want a Mistress. That is fine. I will not dominate you then. If you are sorry,  you can come crawling back. 
 
I am not saying this as an advice to any dommes. I am saying this works for us. However,  I do not believe in rewarding real bad behaviour, and for a sub, I am confident that for  example a spanking is an indirect reward - that is he gets dominated. If hubby and I are doing  this, we will do it properly. 
 
I am sorry I was not able to get that across, and I hope I was able to this time. I have lots  to learn about this writing thing. 🙂 

Post #3 - Q: Do you really p*nish your husband for real, or is it a game? Do you spank him when you p*nish him?
 
Yes, I do really p*nish my husband. It's not a game. At all. But there is p*nishment, and there is P*nishment. Spanking? Meh... it depends...
 
First of all, let me be clear. I am not writing to educate or give tips. I am writing because some people are curious and have asked me to, and because it is time consuming to answer everyone personally in PM. I do not claim any knowledge. I am stil learning, and everything I write are personal experiences and nothing else. There exists no right way to live in an FLR, just as there are no right way to live vanilla. Anyone who claim otherwise have a kink that triggers them and have their own idea of how it should be. More on that later. Everything I write is only my own experiences in this one single case. I am no expert. No one is. 
 
My husband receives p*nishment. Let's say he cums too soon, wets his sheets with sperm in his cage during the night or touch his pee-pee when it's hard (as in one of my latest videos - it's forbidden), I might p*nish him by putting him over my knees and spank him, or maybe deny him a release for a week or two. I understand the difference between accidents and real disobedience. What I have discovered, and this is actually a tip to all beginning dommes, is that spanking is actually a reward. Here any submissive male reading this is free to challenge me on this claim, but I will not believe you. If I put you on top of my knees and give you a spanking on the butt because you talked back to me, I am actually rewarding you. Forget it. Sexual p*unishments are reserved for accidents, like cumming too soon or that the pee-pee does not fill the cage satisfactory in my opinion.
 
But! When hubby is talking back to me or behaves in a very bad way that I for real do not appreciate, there is P*nishment, not p*nishment. Sexual p*unishment is not really p*nishment. It is a reward. Hubby and I have decided to live in an FLR, Just to be clear: It is completely voluntary from both parts. If he or I say we stop, we stop, and we will still love each other and live vanilla. Though I prefer this. More on that topic later.
 
What is the difference between p*nishment and P*unishment? Well, the worst thing I can do to hubby is simple: I simply just stop dominating him. Yes, it is that simple. For example, if he tries to top from bottom, I let him. Ok, so let's be vanilla, then. If he ever tries to top from bottom, I simply stop being Mistress K. I can guarantee he comes crawling back. It took some time  before I realised the difference between p*nishment and P*nishment, I have to admit. 
 
I remember one particular incidence s*x yars ago or so. Hubby had a bad day, but let his frustration pour my way. I went to the bathroom, irritated and told him he had one chance. I waited, and about f*ur minutes later he came to me and got down on his knees and apologised. I was really upset and pointed my finger at him. I believe I was actually screaming, or at least very clear in my tone. It wasn't a game at all. I think it was one of the most serious talks we ever had, actually.  I gave him a choice. I asked if he wanted his Mistress or only a wife. He told me he wanted both. No spanking, folks! P*unishment was no domination for a week. He got the point, but wanted to contiue, and agreed he poured his frustration on to the wrong person.
 
After the week of no domination, I asked him if he was serious about this. Before he answered "yes", I told him:
 
I am!
 
Result :No orgasms for years. Is it P*nishment, p*nishment or a reward? You be the judge.